(trumpeting)
- Frollo: (snickering) Snoops, this is a red-letter day. A coup d'at, to coin a Norman phrase.
- Mr. Snoops: Oh, yes, indeed, Frollo. Your plan to capture Dimitri Hood in public is sheer genius. [chuckling]
- Frollo: Snoops, no one sits higher than the king. Must I remind you, Snoops? [clicking tongue]
- Mr. Snoops: Oh, oh, forgive me, Frollo. [stuttering] I didn't mean to...
- Frollo: My trap is baited and set... ...and then revenge! Ah, revenge!
- Mr. Snoops: Shh! Not so loud, Frollo. Remember, only you and I know, and your secret is my secret.
- Frollo: Stop! (giggles) Stop hissing in my ear. Secret? What secret?
- Mr. Snoops: Why, the capture of Dimitri Hood, Frollo.
- Frollo: That insolent blackguard. Ooh! I'll show him who wears the crown!
- Mr. Snoops: I share your loathing, Frollo. That scurrilous scoundrel who fooled you with that silly disguise, who dared to rob you and made you look utterly ridiculous...
- Frollo: Enough! Snoops, you deliberately dodged.
- Mr. Snoops: But... But... Frollo, please.
- Frollo: Stop sniveling and hold still.
- Mr. Snoops: Thank you, Frollo.
- Anya: Oh, Esmeralda, I'm so excited. But how will I recognize him?
- Esmeralda: Oh, he'll let you know somehow. That young rogue of yours is full of surprises, my dear.
- Dimitri: There she is, Vladimir. Isn't she beautiful?
- Vladimir: Cool it, lover boy. Your heart's runnin' away with your head.
- Dimitri: Oh, stop worrying. This disguise would fool my own mother.
- King Hubert: (chuckling) Yeah, but your mom ain't here. You gotta fool old bushel britches.
- Thomas: Amos Slade, Your Honor?
- Amos Slade: Yeah.
- Thomas: Meetin' ya face-to-face is a real treat. A real treat.
- Amos Slade: Well, now, thank you. [chuckling] Oh, excuse me. I gotta go win this tournament.
- King Hubert: Hey, old Dimtri's not a bad actor. But wait till he sees this scene I lay on Judge Claude Frollo. Ah! Me lord. My esteemed royal sovereign of the realm. The head man himself. You're beautiful.
- Frollo: (laughs) He has style, eh, Hiss? (speaks French)
- King Hubert: (laughing) You took the words right out of my mouth, JCF.
- Frollo: "JCF"! I like that. Do you know I do? Snoops, put it on my luggage. JCF. [guffawing] JCF. Yes.
- Mr. Snoops: Hmph! And you? Who might you be, sir?
- King Hubert: I am Hubert, King of Chutney. And don't stick your tongue out at me, kid. And now, Your Mightiness, allow me to lay some protocol on you.
- Frollo: Oh, no. Uh, forgive me, but I lose more jewels that way than... Please sit down.
- King Hubert: Thanks, JCF. Couldn't get a better seat than this, could you? The royal box. Oh! Hey! Hey, wait a minute! What's... Oh, excuse me, buster.
- Mr. Snoops: "Buster"? You, sir, have taken my seat.
- Frollo: Snoops, with you around, who needs a court jester? (Frollo continues laughing) Now get out there and keep your snake eyes open for you know who.
- Mr. Snoops: You... You mean, I... I'm being dismissed?
- King Hubert: You heard His Mightiness. Move it, creepy. Get lost. Begone, long one.
- Mr. Snoops: What cheek! "Creepy"? "Buster"? "Long one"? Who does that dopey duke think he is?
- Jiminy Cricket: Now, he's up to somethin', Maurice.
- Maurice: Yeah. Come on!
- Thomas: Ah, Your Ladyship. Beggin' your pardon, but it's a great honor to be shootin' for the favor of a lovely lady like yourself. I hopes I win the kiss.
- Anya: Oh! Well, thank you, my red-headed settler. (giggling) I wish you luck... [whispering] with all my heart.
- Mr. Snoops: (echoing) Hmm... I wonder.
- Sir Kay: Minister Frollo, with your royal permission, we are ready to begin.
- Frollo: Proceed, Sir Kay!
- Sir Kay: The tournament of the golden bullet will now begin.
- (crowd cheers)
- (trumpeting)
- (drumroll)
- (crowd cheers)
- (whistles)
- Pinocchio: Yay, Dad!
- (crowd boos)
- (crowd cheers)
- Frollo: A perfect bull's-eye. Well, well.
- King Hubert: (chuckling) That's what you call pullin' it back and lettin' it go, JCF.
- Thomas: I'm gonna win that golden bullet, and then I'm gonna present meself to the lovely Anya and...
- Amos Slade: Listen, scissorbill, if you shoot half as good as you blabbermouth, you're better'n Dimitri Hood.
- Thomas: Dimitri Hood, he says! Wowee! I'm tiptop, all right, but I'm not as good as he is.
- (crowd cheers)
- King Hubert: That kid's got class. Ain't he, JCF?
- Frollo: Indeed he has, Hubert. [chuckles] Bravo! Uh, bravo! Yes.
- Thomas: Oh, um, by the way. I hear you're havin' a bit of trouble gettin' your hands on that Dimitri Hood.
- Amos Slade: He's scared of me, that's what he is. You notice he didn't show up here today. Huh! I could spot him through them phony disguises.
- Mr. Snoops: (echoing) It's him! It's Dimitri Hood! I just can't wait till I tell the judge. (chuckling) Unhand me, you... (grunts) Please, please! I don't drink! - (sloshing)
- Sir Kay: Attention, everyone. The final contestants are... ...Amos Slade...
- crowd boos)
- Sir Kay: ...And the red-headed settler man from Devonshire.
- (crowd cheers)
- Frollo: My dear, I suspect you favor the gangly youth, hmm?
- Anya: Uh, why, yes, Frollo. Well, at least he amuses me.
- Frollo: (laughs) Coincidently, my dear young lady, he amuses me too.
- Sir Kay: For the final shootout, move the target back three paces.
- Amos Slade: You heard him, Lon! Get goin'! Move it, you birdbrain. And remember what you're supposed to do.
- Lon: Yes, sir, Amos, sir.
- (crowd boos)
- Amos Slade: (chuckling) Well, that shot wins the golden arrow, the kiss and the whole caboodle.
- (crowd gasps)
- (crowd cheers)
- Maurice: Yay! He did it, he did it, he did it!
- (whispering)